The Lone Wolf Trap 🐺

My June blog focuses on the high achiever trap. It’s a belief that I have held myself: “If I can’t do this on my own, I don’t deserve it.”

But “doing it all” solo doesn’t guarantee credibility, but it definitely builds exhaustion.

This ones for the over-achieving lone wolves on this list: smart, capable, independent people who’ve gotten very good at carrying the weight solo.

You know who you are!

I had a new client this week for my (under-marketed) Rapid Kickstart Coaching offer.

Client A was preparing to apply for a senior role and was struggling with both her application and her confidence. She needed a sounding board. Someone in her corner. Not months of coaching—just a powerful, focused reset. In time to get that application in before the deadline!

We got it done in 48 hours. She had a clear, compelling application, along with a reframe for some of those pesky, limiting beliefs. And most importantly, the empowerment to go for it 🚀

So below, I’m sharing with you 1 hot take on the lone wolf topic, 2 questions to shift the internal ‘go it alone’ narrative and 3 tips to build and use a support system.

🔥 1 Hot Take

There are no extra points for doing it all alone. And no trophies for martyrdom. Trust me! If there were, I would have a shelf full of them.

Success isn’t reserved for the most self-sufficient; it’s about being self-aware enough to know WHEN to ask for help, and intelligent enough to know WHERE to find it.

I read a quote on LinkedIn recently that stopped me in my tracks:

“I had mistaken endurance for strength”, and it made me think of all the times I had done the same.

Because there’s a difference between **being strong** and **being stubbornly unsupported**. So often, we wait until we’re completely overwhelmed before reaching out.

How bad/frustrating/terrifying does it need to get before you’ll engage help?

What would change if asking for help - and building my support team felt like a power move, not a last resort?

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2 Reflective Questions to Shift the Lone Wolf Narrative

1. Where in your life have you confused self-sufficiency with strength, and what has that cost you? Use this as evidence to strengthen your decision to seek help when needed.

2. What support would actually make a difference to you right now… and what belief is stopping you from asking for it?

Here’s some common ones:

• “I can’t afford it” - can you afford not to? There’s always a way: payment plans, alternative offers

• “My issue isn’t serious enough” - if it would make a difference to your life to get it sorted, it’s serious enough

• “I should be able to figure this out myself”, – says who? 😂

Coaching isn’t just for Olympians. Therapy isn’t just for serious crises. And support teams aren’t reserved for billionaires and CEOs. Us regular humans? We’re allowed help too!!

Especially when we’re navigating big transitions, tough decisions, or the pressure to keep it all together.

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✅ 3 Practical Tips for Building (and Using) Your Support System

1. Map your team. Take five minutes to jot down who’s in your current support network: mentors, friends, colleagues, family, peers. Notice any gaps—are you missing a sounding board, a challenger, or a cheerleader?

2. Get specific. Don’t wait for a crisis—practice asking for small, specific things. "Can I run this past you for 10 minutes?" or "Could you help me think this through?"

3. Use coaching strategically. Coaching doesn’t HAVE to be long-term to be impactful. One-off coaching sessions like the rapid kickstart are designed for those moments when you know you need focused support—quickly. Whether you're facing a tough decision, a mindset block, or need to regain momentum, it’s a powerful way to reset and move forward.

So this month, I encourage you to take a moment to check in on your own support system—and if you need someone in your corner, confidentially with no agenda, you know where to find me.

P.S. If a Rapid Kickstarter session sounds like the right kind of support for you right now, here’s where you can book it.